Flying United Global First

Airplane food: the very words strike fear into my heart.

I still remember the days when cross country flights included meals in coach (“eggs or pancakes?”, “pasta or chicken?”), but even back then I would often bring my own snacks to eat instead.  These days, of course, the only food is up front.  And it’s still pretty awful on domestic flights, so even if I’m upgraded I carry on a Tortas Frontera mollete or, at the very least, some fancy chocolates to nibble.

But for my France trip, I redeemed a chunk of frequent flier miles to fly international first class. For some airlines, this means private suites, fresh flowers at your seat, onboard showers, and caviar service.

Unfortunately… I was flying on United.

Just kidding, sort of.  The seat was comfortable, the entertainment system was good (though I wanted more than one episode of 30 Rock!), and the flight attendants were pleasant.  And I enjoyed exploring all the little storage nooks and crannies around me, and tucking my various things into them.

But there was definitely no caviar.

After takeoff, I settled in for dinner with the latest Star Trek movie, 2000 Deutz champagne (actually rather good), and the ubiquitous warm mixed nuts.

There was an unremarkable appetizer of miniature fried things (according to my menu, a vegetable and mushroom filled pastry and a beef empanada), shrimp and corn chowder, and a salad.

For the main, four choices: beef tenderloin, Cajun chicken breast, seafood Newburg, or vegetable-filled pasta.  I went with the chicken, served with white beans, collard greens, and grilled onions.

Not the most attractive plate, but quite tasty, especially the beans, which had a perfect firm texture and a lovely smoky flavor.

Next, one of the flight attendants wheeled a cheese cart down the aisle and offered to make me a plate.  The cheese wasn’t anything extraordinary, but it was nice with the buttery crackers and a glass of port.

Since I still had a little more of the movie to watch, I also gave in to the flight attendant’s offer of an ice cream sundae with hot fudge, strawberries, and whipped cream.   The ice cream seemed to have been cut out rather than scooped – it had a square edge!  I ate a little, then decided it was time for bed.

This is definitely one of the advantages of first class – the meal service kills a lot of time on a long flight.

I pushed the buttons on my seat until it converted into a bed (narrow, but flat) and tried to get comfortable with a pillow that was somehow both thin and lumpy.  The duvet, at least, was fluffy and warm.

I’m pretty sure that there was some kind of breakfast plate served in the morning, though I don’t entirely remember.  I think I was still half asleep as I left the plane, went through immigration, and wandered Heathrow until it was time to board my Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt en route to Lyon.  (Yes, one downside of frequent flier tickets is the crazy routing you sometimes have to endure.)

Next time: Breakfast and lunch on Lufthansa, completing a full day of airplane food meals!